26 November Journal

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone in the USA…. This year everything will be different. We do need to give thanks for things we do have. As we all now have been reminded, it can be gone in a moment. The Macy’s Parade is even different this year, however, some dedicated people made sure it would happen this year as we try to survive the pandemic. I am glad that they are still having and airing the parade this year. It has really been a staple of my Thanksgiving for my entire 50 years on this planet. There were a few years here and there I missed it. However, When I finally said I was not doing anything until after the parade, family got mad they could not do their thing sooner in the day. I have not had the issue of upsettedness in the last several years. I have been living alone and with the distance to be traveled to see my daughter and grandson, Thanksgiving is a bit hard to make it to them.

I Am personally thankful I have had a lot better time this year than others have. I do feel bad for those who are down in these times right now. I am thankful for the health I have maintained this year, that I Have had food to keep my belly from eating my spine. A couple months ago I was concerned where I would be living by this time. Luckily and thankful I am still with a place to live that isnt my car or tent. I am glad to have the friends I have to ensure I am ok and have a place to go feel welcome on this day. Friends that treat me like a family member. I am truly thankful for those friends.

As my life has progressed, I have changed my thoughts of what thanksgiving is. The food is not so much the turkey and ham, it can be whatever you have on hand. It is being thankful for what it is you do have to make a feast or a meager meal out of. It has more to do with the thanks of the people in your life, the good things in you life also. It isn’t about turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce and green bean casserole. It’s not about the dinner rolls and cornbread or the giblet gravy that lays on the table. Those things are only for a moment. Family and friends that will stand by you for a lifetime, those are things to give thanks for. Please remember that no matter what you think maybe sour in your life, there is good if you want to see it. Though it could be something you did not expect to be giving thanks for. As I try to stay away from the hate that I could talk about, I leave you with the below

I hope all have a wonderful day with your families and friends. Remember to say thanks to your parents.

Love Candi

22 November Journal

Buenas Dias Americanos!!! Yup That was my poor take on the spanish language that I learned in Texas. Mostly a Mexican Spanish rather than Spain Spanish. It all derives from latin mostly anyways. It is a cloudy day with rain and was a wonderful 60 degrees this morning when I got up. A cold front is to move through which is pushing the rain into the area. I have already gotten breakfast and dishes done, laundry in the dryer and lots of thoughts in my processed with no resolve to what I should do about that just yet.

So, Yesterday when I got where I could get out, I made my errands. Stopped to see one of my oldest of friends. Not her age but the time I have known her. We had a nice chat. We are both so done with this dramatic year. It was a good visit, and we dont spend as much time together as we used to. That is kinda sad honestly. So When I left her place, I finally remembered that I wanted to go the other grocery closer to her place. It isnt my normal shopping store. Maybe it should be. Anyways, they seemed to have more items on the shelves. Especially the items I want most of. One of those is the Mexican Dried Arbol Peppers. BAck in my home state they are everywhere and can be picked up at nearly any store you go to. I did find the peppers among many other dried pepper varieties. I was in heaven. So got this large bag of 8 ounces of the loved Arbol peppers. I have already used about 10 each of the peppers. I must say, that was a flavor I had been longing for. I have been for six years. I used to use these peppers all the time back in Texas. Here, for the last 6 years I have not had much of them. As these folks in Tennessee are not as much into the same heat as I am, if they are into heat at all. I was impressed with the store and its vegetable selection especially the mexican stuff. I even found pimentos. I dont mean that they had only one or two of the things I was looking for, they had it stocked very well. Many packets of the stuff I was searching for. So I may end up in there a bit more often than I was thinking. Maybe the next weeks grocery run I will go in there and see what I can get from my normal shopping list.

Yesterday I was awake at 230 am. I dont know why, so I made my way to the hardware store at 6 am to get that out of the way before they got extra busy. I needed a couple things for and antenna and radio project I am working. The radio project is finished but the antenna is not even started yet. I Have an antenna to build for a neighbor that has a poor VHF antenna and is in need of a better antenna. So I do need to get started on that project hopefully today. But after the radio project and the 230 am wake up yesterday I am a bit exhausted. Not mention the mental strain I had this week staring at paperwork that was supposed to be filed 2 year ago. As I am getting through my little projects, I Am finally making my way to the declutter projects I desperately need to get through again. I get into a declutter mood and actually toss out stuff. Then I can have a little more space in my house.

Well folks, The breakfast food sleepies has hit me. I better end here and say good night again!!! Yeah I know its only 8 am. But the lack of rest yesterday is not helping my cause any at all. Besides I need to finish up the laundry and do some straightening and putting things away. Hope you all have a great Day!!

Love Candi

15 November Journal

Good Morning Everyone, Sunday in Dixie Land has become a wet mess overnight. We had a cold front come through, with lots of wind and rain. I woke up to hear rain coming down pretty hard last night sometime. THis morning is nice and clear with wet ground.

I Am glad to not be getting and or hearing in the main storys of the news, the election mess. I am sure there is still lots happening or not happening that should be. Luckily it is no longer the forefront of the news everyday. The bigger story is the covid rise. THe cases are climbing at an exponential rate now. IT is almost like its being seeded into the areas. I myself am doing everything I can to prevent it. I am staying away from everyone, wearing a mask and if anyone sniffles I distance myself even more. I do not need to get sick and am trying to keep myself away from being sick in anyway shape or form. THough I cannot say that my mental health isnt sick LOL. My bestie has been sick for several weeks now, possibly due to the stress of joblessness. SHe also has her son and others in her family that have a positive test of the Covid. I talked to her on the phone yesterday for a while. She is still her gossipping and dramatic self. SHe is not sounding good and is seemingly still sick. I told her that I am not going around her until she is well for a while. I even have to hold off on getting the salsa I made for her out to her. SHe is in a bad situation. Unemployment has yet to pay her after three or four weeks of “certifying”. I do not have any answers for her though she continues to ask. I told her she needs to get with the virtual assistance and wait and work through it until she gets a live person on the chat box. Otherwise she is going to have to call them and keep calling until she gets through. It isn’t like she has anything else to do.

Moving on, I had to get groceries yesterday. The shelves I am seeing are going bare again. I even saw one shelf that had stuff on it from another set of shelves to fill the space. The stuff was way out of place. I was looking for pimentos and could not find them. I was looking for my spaghetti mix that I use and they were out of any spaghetti mix packets. I been two weeks looking for my breakfast sausage patties. They have not had it in at least two weeks. I am running out. I did by some that I probably wont like. I am not used to buying a log of breakfast sausage. Part of that is because I don’t need to make a whole log at one time like many others possibly do. So I had to give thought to what I needed to do. DEcided on a breakfast casserole thing to make a premade breakfast for the week. I will probably make that tomorrow evening for dinner. Also I have a particular lunch meat I buy, they dont have that either. I really thought that by now we would be back to some type of normal with getting foods to the grocery. Some things are of course never lacking. Like the junk food aisle. That is the one Aisle that is never empty and never has been empty. I been looking for baking chocolate from hershey. There is none of that either. I was actually going to make brownies. Oh No, Lets be out of the foods we normally have on the shelf in bulk. With that said I have to think that it is possible that many folks are trying to restock from the past not buying and using it all up in there house. ALso with the coming holidays I am sure things will be lacking with the slow restock of the items. I been looking for the red chiles I need for my salsa. Apparently my normal grocery does not keep them in stock at all. I need to try one of the mexican stores or as I been looking, possibly the place called superlow. Being from Texas certain things are a normal item in my house and my taste for them has never waned. A friend brought me some a while back and i Have since used them up. THese little red dried chiles are a staple of my world. 6 years later I still cannot find them in my normal grocery. I really have not looked for them to hard. Back home they are on end caps and hanging everywhere in every store. Here, the mexican stuff is a bit lacking. I also get tickled when I see folks buying the boxed taco meals on the shelf. Those are so expensive for what you get. I do have to laugh at the thought that the number of people who don’t look at recipes and realize they can make it at home from scratch so much cheaper and have more for leftovers. IT really isn’t hard to make. Its so simple to add some chile powder, cumin and paprika to a beef or chicken mix that includes onions and peppers and tomato. That is something else at the grocery that has been lacking too. The spice aisle is always empty here lately. Maybe it is time that seek out a different store than the one I normally frequent..

Work has been a drag lately. I have all but done my work in a couple hours every day and spend the next 4-6 hours sitting around doing nothing. I been designing on other things for personal use such as clothing, antennas, radio layout on my desk, and a host of other things. Which I guess is ok. But I really hate sitting around idle. It leaves me sleepless at night and cranky. Yesterday being busy doing something, I was able to sleep better than I had in several days.

There has not been much else happening here. I am working on rescheduling my life to get back onto the air more often. As I have seen everything I watch about a trillion times it seems. I have some antenna work I need to do today. The winds last night moved some stuff around and got one all goofy. I Need some height on the VHF/UHF antenna anyways and so I think I can fix this in a couple minutes once I get out there. May do that here in a bit. Normal sunday chores are on the menu today.

WEll Folks I think it is time to say ADIOS!!! LOL> I need to get on breakfast and finish up the laundry. Hope you all have a great day!!!

Love Candi

8 November Journal

Good Sunday Morning Everyone!!! We are a week into November, Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away, and the start of the silly season. I am not sure what this years silly season will entail without current pandemic issues. It has been a messed up year for sure. I am so ready to get back into not needing a mask every time I leave the house to the store. I wanna be able to try on clothes again. I want to be sure I have a job with security that I can pay my bills. I would like to date possibly again. Though the latter will probably not happen. I am a big chicken. Then add the ones I am interested in and seemingly have an interest in me, has other obligations that prevent such things from happening. Which is actually fine and dandy I suppose.

So we are about five days past the day that we cast our ballots for our government. There is a big problem coming. The Incumbent being the childish high school bully that he is, obviously crying foul and fraud. Much like he did in the election that got him there. He called fraud when we won the seat, now that he lost, he’s also calling fraud. The sad part is, the incumbent has done more in 4 years to divide the USA than he has to unite us. He has caused hate, strife and other issues. I have never seen anyone that has been more of a dictator in my life time than this man. I have never seen a more childish elected official. One who if they don’t win, gets into a temper tantrum over everything. Bad mouthing people on the camera, then say it is a joke. What I have noticed is he is the typical silver spoon handed person who always had his way. Basically a spoiled brat that never grew up. He declared himself a winner before enough results were counted to give an accurate result. Now he’s having his lay in the floor tantrum because, we the people said, Mr President, GET OUT!!! I do have some understanding from things I hear that he will be sued by a host of parties for various things once he is out. I am also pretty sure that he will either insite some issue causing more certain bad things for us or he will be dragged out by his gonads kicking, crying, screaming and stating foul and fraud. Anyways folks, we the people have spoken, if you don’t like it, you have a another chance in 4 years to change it again. I sincerely hope that our new president is for us and not against us. I hope he isn’t in the mindset to remove more and more of our freedoms, in the name of health and security and safety. They have already done as much now to an extent. Hopefully we do not have to hear about the “tweets” that put the foot in the mouth of our national representative. I also will end this political rant with this, I do not care what side of the isle they are on. Red Or Blue, Democratic or Republican, the fact is that we need a person no matter what that will work for us. Sometimes that person is not always one or the other no matter what you may think. Lastly, remember that there is a reason for the Donkey and Elephant. Someone else had decided what I have thought now for years. One is a jack ass, the other is a fat ass. Neither for the people of America.

So folks, back onto the radio operator that I am. CW ops class is done for now. Moving into more and more QSO’s finally. After having being out of town for work for several weeks, I am a bit shaky on my sending. I got out of my practice and am a little shaky on my copy also. New radio came in and I am very happy with it thus far. I am still learning its quirks and features. I have most of it figured out. It is an all band all mode radio. Not a Low power rig, but 100 watts on 160-6 Meter bands and 50 watts on VHF and UHF. Yesterday after getting some things together for a friend who just passed his license exams for tech and general, I got his antenna up and on the VHF band at 6 watts. We can at least chat from house to house. Which is good for now. I had to bring is other VHF rig home to finish up the Tone encoder installation. That is ready to go also. SO then I had to also fix my V/UHF SWR Meter. I dropped it last week, a spot had a broken solder joint. I fixed that and decided to check it on my new radio. My Homebrew antenna is working great. Even better than I expected. I went to check it on UHF just for giggles. UHF is perfect across the whole band. I was ecstatic about that. When I built the antenna of two coat hangers and PVC pipe, there was no mention that it would work on UHF. So the inadvertent testing yesterday yielded that it works there also. Go figure, I never would have thought. If I have the needed connections for him, I will be building an antenna for my friend so he can have a better antenna than the half set up dipole I put up for him yesterday. So enough on that.

Cooking idea for today, a Mexican meatball soup. A recipe idea I found on the internet the other day. I am not sure how it will come out. I have some ideas on my own variation of the recipe. An idea of thickening the soup into a mexican type meatball sub or cheese steak thing. I may do that another time. Since the weather is to be warmer than usual for this time of year, I may end up with something totally different. Last weeks salsa is a wonderful thing. I have bought some stuff to make more salsa for a friend of mine. She wants some. I wanted a green or multicolor salsa that I tend to enjoy more than anything else. Hopefully I can make this today and it come out like I want. Unlike last weeks that was redish and yet, still wonderfully delish!!!! I will need to work on that today also. I also need to work on the dining area of my kitchen here soon. Maybe not today, though I did get other cleaning done yesterday.

Well folks that is the end of this post. Enough rambling about things that people are tired of. Maybe we can start getting back to normal soon and hopefully the world can eradicate the virus that has created a ton of problems world wide. Have a wonderfully safe and fun week everyone!!!

Love Candi…..

1 November Journal

Good Morning everyone, Its Sunday!!! Rest day, sort of for me. As I have gotten up and finished up laundry other than putting away the clothes. I started on dinner and have it in the crock pot. I feel much better today than I did yesterday. Its been a long few weeks in my world. Glad to be home and sleeping in my own bed. YAY!!! YIPPY!!

Todays dinner is Candi’s Chili. You may hate it, however, it think its the best. BUt I Can say, if you don’t try it out, you will not know if you like it or not. So we start off with soaking pinto beans at least three times in water. Drain and freshen the water each time folks. This helps to reduce the side effect called the vapors when you eat it. Now that is a one day and a half issue but worth the trouble I can assure you of that. I added the spices I wanted; creole, chili, cayenne, cumin, paprika and black pepper. Now, we have veggies, I use bell peppers, yellow and green for a color. Chopped up with garlic and onions. A portion of the onions is placed with some hamburger about a pound of the hamburger. Some bacon about three slices is chopped up and sauteed with the peppers and onion. The garlic was added to the meat. So the meat is cooked drained and onions added with some creole, chili, cayenne, cumin, paprika and black pepper. A couple drops of liquid smoke and some teriyaki sauce. This was heated through and the spices allowed to mix into the meat and onions. This was then placed into the crock pot. The pepper mix was split and part sauteed with about three slices of bacon. The rest of chopped and added to the crock pot. I did saute a habanero pepper, as well as chopped one to be fresh into the pot. IF you do use a pepper of the spicy variety, be sure that when you saute them open a window and turn on the vent fan. It will clear up your sinuses. Then when you have them sauteed and the bacon has browned, you add that to the crock pot. By now you should have had the crock pot on the low setting I hope. That can you can do while you are preparing the beef and veggies. The last thing I add is the tomatoes. I cut some grape tomatoes in half and another set of them in smaller pieces. Then you add them to the mix, stir and and cover with the lid. The smells will be filling the house with a wonderful aroma of chili from the soul and the heart. I have made this many a times through the years and I love it. It is a great thing to warm you from the inside during the cold winter months. It is one of my comfort foods. Lastly, You notice there is no specific amounts of the spices or much of anything for that matter. My cooking is weird, no recipes used. I go by taste and smell. I use what I want how I want and will adjust at another time when I make it again. Nothing is made the same every single time. There will always be something different in my cooking. Now the baking side of things, I use and follow a recipe. If you don’t, the crust will be crap, the bread not rise or something. Everything else is a what I hear as a crap shoot. But I will say, I never hear or get any complaints from those who have eaten anything i have cooked up from my kitchen.
Yesterday, I did something I have not done in a while. Homemade Salsa my other lovely thing that I make usually this time of year. Since I was revamping my from the hip recipe, I didn’t make as much as I usually do. The flavor was still there, the color was off for some reason. Which I know why. It is about 6 serrano peppers, three habaneros, one full each of green and yellow bell pepper and a whole beef steak tomato. There is a portion of that which is sauteed in olive oil, then all the chopped and a smaller portion of pureed mixes are added to a pot and heated to boiling with a few tablespoons of vinegar. Then it is boiled on a low boil for about five minutes, then allowed to cool. I put my stuff for me in a repurposed pickle jar. I put it in the fridge then enjoy later. I will say it usually pretty hot in the spice department. The initial flavor is sweet and savory, kinda smoky flavored. The heat usually hits when you are dipping your chip for the next bite after you have swallowed the the first. I do like my salsa or hot sauce to be colorful and chunky. The Colorful part is because of the Japanese Influence I have in my studies. I have learned that sushi is a good food that uses the idea of color to make a really appealing dish. I have moved that to my salsa. I hate the idea that salsa is always red and sometimes green. I like them both, but why can we not have a multicolored beautiful salsa that is spicy with varying levels of heat like the traditional types of salsa in the red or green variety? IN the past I used to give this to family and they loved the flavor. They however could not handle the spice. So I was working on trying to reduce the heat of my salsa and still maintain the color presentation. I will find out later maybe how good it is or isn’t.

Next and lastly in todays post and hopefully the last time I have to bring this up. We are a couple days away from the election in the USA. I have been inundated with texts and phone calls wanting money for campaigns. I am sick of them. What I did not mention in this part of my post last week is, I want to know what the hell you as a politician will do for me, NOT what your opponent will not do for us or will do against us, the people of the USA… I can say I am fearful of the outcome of the election. Neither candidate is worthy of the position in my opinion. These lying bastardos are just that, they have lost connection to us the people, the roots that they came from. What I fear is the damage that could and probably will be done between the election day results and the inauguration day if one or the other is elected. I am tired of waiting on help or assistance from the government due this pandemic. That assistance is being held over our heads or in front of us like a carrot to a horse. The weapon of assistance and vaccine used as a tool or weapon in the political arena to gain votes. I can say that at least one of the candidates has a plan and has stated it. The other one keeps skirting the questions. One is an outright school yard bully the other is fighting the bully and probably is a bully himself from another direction that is even scarier than the ghosts of halloween. So we have a lot of things to decide. One of those is who will be president. The rest of it is how do we progress into our semblance of normalcy, where do we go for fun, where do find our next love, where our food is coming from and what do we need to do protect ourselves in the midst of a pandemic that is seemingly not going to let loose of the human race. We know several things if you are like me and live an older way of life. That is you take care of yourself. You do what you need to do for you and you have to expect nothing from anyone else. Do Not Ever expect anyone else to take care of you in anyway shape or form. Things in life happen, we have to be prepared. We have to know that we have the means to do what we need to ensure that we are taking care of ourselves. Not going to the government everytime we pass gas asking for a help. I can put it this way, something I saw in a cartoon once. The old lady cartoon that resembles my grandmother that I obviously cannot recall the name of. The reality of it all goes like this, The government giving out to people is akin to having a bird feeder. You put the food out and see the beautiful colors of the birds taking the food that doesn’t need go find for themselves. As more and more come and take more and more food, you spend more and more money to take care of that set of increasing birds who want more and more for nothing. Then you realize that below the bird feeder and among the area of the yard and porch you find bird poop, feathers and a foul stench. SO you have to clean up the mess. That mess cleaned up you leave the feeder out, being a nice girl, you want to protect the seemingly helpless creatures. What has happened is that the seemingly helpless birds are now truly helpless when they weren’t helpless at all. They lost the ability to be foragers and find what is needed for their own survival. The government has done that to us Americans. Many people think that the government should give us the endless help. Maybe they should give us some assistance in this troubling time. But what the government has done is create a stinky foul mess of bird poop and feathers. Many people have forgotten how to work, how to get through a work day and do what is needed for their own survival much like the birds. I am not against helping a person who is down on their luck, so long as they are trying to get better and progress. What I am not going to do is keep giving out because they continue to ask for more and more like those birds. That asking becomes expectation, that is when the mess happens. We are all needing to be afforded opportunities to progress and gain for ourselves. But that has to come at the cost of working hard and doing a good job. Be sure that any help you get is appreciated and returned at your earliest ability to so. It doesn’t have to be to the person who helped you. THis all ties into the election, expecting that one of the candidates is there for you is a total lie to yourself. You have to take care of you. A friend of mine said she voted for anyone she did not know. IF the balot person to be voted for was a familiar name, she did not vote for that person. Which is good, it helps the upper classes of government know that we are done with them and their lies and raises to themselves. You politicians need to get back into reality of the real world that is not the stock market and your fancy clothes and mansions. Time to get down and dirty with the working folks and see what is really happening to us and with us. Those of us women who think they care about us HAHA, We are women, yes our vote counts, but we are the lower sex and we are not given the justice and respect we deserve. We are givers of life, and caretakers we too should be heard.

OKEE DOKEE folks, I have rambled way longer than I expected to. I have laundry to put away and a radio to get go play on. I am smelling the wonderful smells of the chili in the pot. A warming smell at that WOO HOO!!! I do hope you all have a great day, go vote, go make your voice heard no matter who it is you choose. Have a great day everyone!!!

Love Candi

25 October Journal

Good Morning Americans, its Sunday! I feel So Much better than I did yesterday. Though I have to leave in a couple days again. Hopefully for the last time for a while. I have things I need to do. I have a lot of house cleaning to get done. Certain things I have let go because I was fearful of having to pack and get out of this place. I may still pack up some stuff anyways just to get a few things out of the house for now. I will be thinking on that more as the next few weeks and days come along.

LASt night I finally decided that I need to keep a warmer house. 60 degrees is a bit much on the low end of the temps here. Sadly one day I need heat and the next I may need A/C. It makes sleeping a bit more difficult when you wake up a bit on the cold side. Then you roll over and well, you dont sleep as well as you could have.

I have not gone to the grocery since I wont be here to eat much of anything. I am doing simple stuff and making sure it is for one maybe two meals at a time. Something I needed to learn to do anyways. It does help prevent waste and a hate of certain foods. Especially if you have to eat the same food for a week. I had to toss out about 40 dollars worth of food last time I came home. The food had went bad in the fridge and needed to be tossed. I hated that with a passion. Money that is hard enough to get, tossed out like a pair of old worn out socks in the form of food.

So, a subject that is a bit controversial. The United States Presidential election is in just over a week from now. The candidates are not what I would call the best. Two evils battling it out over the well being of the people. One states he is not concerned about “blue” states. The other states that regardless of political affiliation we are all Americans, no matter if we are a “red” or “blue” state. There are a great deal of us in the USA that are red or blue and regardless of that political color are having a hell of a time with this whole covid mess. There has been a lack of direction during this whole year. There was a lack of action when the W.H.O. stated this could and or would be an issue. This information came from the W.H.O. last late November or December. The USA did not respond in full or even tell anyone until Mid March this year. There has been one candidate that has been talking more than any other in history. His words have been bull headed, arrogant and stupid. Not to mention the fact that the actions are that of a school yard bully. Sadly many others are not seeing that because they are oblivious to the real things happening. This is a game to a person who has the power to be anything but a bully. Especially in a time that we need a leader not a bully. A bully will never protect you when their own well being is in jeopardy. That bully is concerned at protecting themselves and attempting to hide that which was done wrong. Because they know that what they have done and how they have acted is not right.
Now our other candidate is stating that he has a plan to get back to normalcy. Otherwise I have heard of great taxes and pay raises to those who really do not need a pay raise. He is also so busy having to defend against attacks from the other candidate that he is not able to spend the time discussing the real issues he wishes to correct. We don’t know all that he is planning on doing for us. We also don’t know what the former is planning to do for us either.
Unless you are just a political junky, you don’t know what they will do for you. What we do know in all is how bad the opponent is from the viewpoint of the politician. I would like to know what each candidate will do for us as the president or member of congress or senate. I feel that if you cannot sell yourself any better than to bad mouth your opponent, then you are not the person for me. I do want to know that we will be free, healthy and safe from attacks. I want to know that we have a military that is strong enough to protect us as americans. I want to know that your decisions will not take our freedoms in the name of safety, health or other things. I want to know I can go about my life in happy careless oblivion. I want to know that when I work hard I wont get it taken from me from you and you so called need for a pay raise that you obviously do not need. There are homeless, hungry and worried people out here.
You politicians have been on capitol hill for long that any decisions you make are not for us the people, but for yourselves. You don’t care about the ones in a pickle or having a hard time over a great deal of things. You have lost touch with where you came from. Some of you politicians were born into the political arena with that silver, oops now gold spoon in your mouth. The only time we see you face to face is on election years. The rest of the time we only see you talking into a camera worried about your pay raise to pay for a 5th house with 50 rooms and 4 stories. I think and know that you folks are spending money on yourselves with the american taxes. Forcing taxes to go up for no reason. How about reducing your pay, and using that money to clean up the american deficit? How about living like many of us regular people with a three room house and one bathroom. Try getting back to your roots and getting out to see those people that elected you. Let them know you care in more ways than just a vote. How about making decisions in a pandemic or other emergency without adding taxes or other changes in laws hidden deep in those edics so that the needs can be passed? How about not using vaccines or other things as weapons or a carrot hanging over the peoples heads teasing us. All the while we sit here in our worry and sickness. Along with the homeless desperate for a dry place to sleep and a little food in their belly. There should be term limits on the other elected officials such as the house of representatives and senate like there are the presidency. THis allows the folks that are not disconnected and remember what it is like to be a working man or woman to get things done based what they know. Not based on what they think they know through channels and here say. When you are released from your political duties, you don’t get the lifetime payments. You have to go back to working as the rest of us. Getting your hands dirty and learning something to do besides being a good liar.
I know that my friends and coworkers and others I speak to on occasions are all done with the lies, deceit, the taking of funds and raises, the idiotic words from bullies in the political arena. We are tired of working our asses off to pay for things that we never see the benefits of. We are tired of a national deficit that we cant see straight. We know that you the politicians regardless of level, but especially on the national level, should be getting to know us, the ones who elected you. Not the select few who are wealthy enough to support your campaign trail, but those of us who pay the taxes and do the work that truly keeps america running. I know I am tired of forked tongue people in all walks of life. Being the CEO’s, management, school administrators/superintendents, mayors, congress, senators, presidents, police officers and a host of others that have slipped my mind. Tell us the truth Mr/Mrs/Ms. Politician, Make decisions that will benefit us and not have hidden attached agendas. We the people are mostly sick of it all and the lies and deceit.

Well Folks, I need to get back on another load of laundry, packing and playing radio operator. I do need to eat and have some happy belly time. I made a purchase yesterday and it should be here sometime this week. I do hope you all have great day!!

Love Candi

24 October Journal

Good Saturday Morning everyone!!! The weather has turned cool and cloudy with some rain last night. I did not hear the rain or the anything until three this morning. I went to bed at 615ish and feel a lot better than I did yesterday. Being home is a wonderful thing. I hate being in a hotel. I got home and spent time with m y bestie who is a bit under the mental weather. She got fired, not laid off, fired, by a boss who wants to be dictator of the lands much like another person we are all sick of hearing about.

It was nice to get home and sleep in my own bed. I am so ready to stay home. I am totally done with this traveling thing. Especially right now. I have had my own breakfast this morning and not some semblance of a breakfast that is in a wrapper or made by anyone other than whom I dont know. My belly is thanking me for that too. YAY!!! I so have missed my own foods. As we all know about when you travel a a lot. There are certain things that need to be maintained and that is hard to do when you are not in your own bed or eating your normal foods. My own food is not anything fancy, just mine. Seasoned my way and not their way. Eating out with all the junk that comes in that, you end up with all kinds of issues. Being in your own bed is a great thing. Waking up feeling refreshed is wonderful. I do need to go and take a nap to get more rested. That is something that will hit me pretty hard here in a few. It already has hit me once. I was in the midst of changing the sheets and doing laundry of towels and sheets. Been a busy morning for sure around here. I am still kinda tired from all the traveling. Sadly I will be leaving again on tuesday to another place to train someone else. Then maybe I can stay home for a bit.

I have not yet set the radios back up for doing anything in there. I am to busy at the moment, and I want to get in there later. AFter I am done napping LOL. I am working on deciding what I can or want to do about my portable radio options. I am looking at a number of things that I need to sleep on some more. Mostly the idea of an antenna so I can do certain other things on the HF side of the radio world. Which is where I spend most my time. I am also looking at a new idea for a radio in the shack and move some stuff around so I Can have HF with more power in the car. I do have aging equipment that needs to be replaced with some up to date stuff. I have been looking at that also. I think I have made my decision on that now. Just have to get some money put aside and see about getting it. But first the antenna issue needs to be resolved here quickly on the car. Especially if I am going to be traveling like I am.

I Have had my “come to jesus” meeting with myself. I think I have decided what I am going to be doing for work. Looking at the state of affairs, and a lot of other stuff that I had to think about, I decided to stay with the company I am at. A year ago the decision would have been most likely a different story. It is much easier to accept a dollar an hour pay cut than a 7 dollar an hour pay cut. There is a lot of things that I worked hard to get into a science of easiness for myself where I am at. I am looked for anytime anything needs taught. I am respected and my knowledge is well know.n. Not to mention the benefits, sick and vacation and a few other things. So the decision really was a no brainer. I did however let myself get seeded with a lot of negativity from others. I didn’t do that before. But with the pandemic, layoffs, and uncertainty and being furloughed more times in one year than I have in 30 years of being in the working world, it is easy to get into the dumps about almost anything. I also have things I am working towards in the near future, not quite so near future and retirement when It comes. I will need to be sure I take all I Can get in the right ways to be sure I can do those things as soon as possible. These aren’t fancy or super expensive things. They just are things I want and need. One of which is my own house. to do with what I want and how I want. Not worrying about the how I did something or if I poked a hole in the wall to do something that needed to be done. So I can get myself out of the storage that I have to also rent monthly and be able to save a bit more money for such things as I want or need.

I do need to get busy on finishing my towels and sheets so I can get them put away. Then a nap is in order and maybe I can get on the air afterwards. who knows. I think It may be raining out again. I hope you all have a great day everyone!!!

Love Candi

22 October Journal

Happy Thursday everyone!!! What a week this has been. I am ready and happy to be heading home in the morning. I am impressed with the ability to learn that the guy I was training has. He learned more in a few days than some have in years of training them. That is a help to my ego. You know when you train people you can have a mix of feelings based on the result of the training.

Now I have to say I am in a dilemma that I am not sure what I need to do. A year ago, it would have been an easy choice. I was making then what the job I just interviewed for pays. Since then I have gained about a seven dollar an hour raise above that. I also have longevity with the company I am with currently, even though its been on and off due to the pandemic. I do have some things with this company I will lose if I move on. One of those this the pay, job security even though it is client based contracts. I can always transfer to other locations if the contract ends. That leaves the idea of no worries of a contract issue if I go to this other company. I am not a young woman anymore. How long would it take to gain the pay back I have currently. What about the time off, sick time vacation, benefits and other things that I am currently secure in? These are all things I think about losing and also think about how long will it take to gain that back. I will lose a certain amount of stress by changing jobs. But then what stress will I gain by losing the amount of pay? Have I simply just let myself get into a tisy and think I need to move away from the current job? I am thankful I have been working for this company. Thankful for the previous RMM that allowed my pay to be raised back to a level that I am comfy. Thankful that I am being called back and trusted and doing what I normally do. I think what I need to do is have another really long come to myself meeting at home when I am not sleepy and tired. COme to the conclusion that I am happy or not with my current job. The idea that I need to be happy with myself and whatever I do with myself.

I Also did something else by telling myself that I am fine. I alienated myself from dating. I have not tried, looked or entertained any idea of the dating at all for 10 months now. I do think that may be a mistake. What I should have done is accept that I am single and if something happens great. What I have done is renounce the idea of the dating all together. No help around the house no comfort on lonely nights during isolation. No one to talk to and no one to cuddle with or cry on when I am having a problem. That was a stupid ass thing for me to do. Anyways I am fine without, but I know I need to have someone around for a variety of things. Fun stuff as much as other things if you get my drift.

I think I am or may get myself an early Christmas present. Depending on if the things I hear are correct and stay that way. I have a radio I been looking into and I think I want to get it. I also need to get something set up for an HF antenna for the car when I am out like I am now. I hate not being able to get on the air easily when I traveling in this manner. I do have stuff ready for a park outing or something but setting up for a quickie QSO is not available unless I get out 65 feet of wire and find some way to set it up, which is not always available. I need a simple set up and I think I have that idea worked out, I need the parts.

Ok Folks, Before I pass out this evening in the midst of a post I am getting off here. I hope you all have a great evening.

Love Candi

18 October Journal

Good Morning everyone! It is Sunday. A day to relax and do not much of anything. In my world I do laundry, vacuum and clean the house as needed, cook and get ready for the work week. Sadly I am not getting ready for the work week like I would like to. I have to pack to go back out for work on the road to hopefully train the person I was supposed to be training for the last couple weeks. As I understand it, my boss wont be bothering him or me this go around and hopefully some things that need to be taught can actually be taught.
I am not honestly looking forward to spending a week in a hotel again. Rumor has it that I will be going into Louisiana for about three weeks but also that I have to attempt to fix a mess that got started a year ago and should have already been fixed. I am hearing some middle management has been failing at their job in keeping things going correctly. So now, lowly old me has to go and help get things straightened out. Go figure they are relying me to get things straightened out. Then probably I will end up laid off again most likely. I Am still actively searching a new position with a new company doing something less stressful. In hopes of not getting called while I am doing my own thing on my own time.

So yes, I have to pack again today. I am not planning on cramming everything into one suitcase this time. I am only going to be gone a short time. I do not need the amount of goods I think I need. So this week maybe not. But if I do end up in Louisiana I will need more than I need when I am closer to home and only gone about a week at a time.

I made a couple steaks on Thursday evening on the grill. They were good for free food given to me by the neighbor. More grisle than I am caring for but ok. Had some of my favorite beans in a can. A Texas original call Ranch Style Beans. Then I made some what I call butter noodles. They are one of those Knorr brand noodles that did not require milk. Since I had no milk I had to make a change. I did end up tossing about 40 dollars worth of food stuff on Wednesday when I got home. Lunch meat and tomatoes and milk just to name a few. The stuff went bad while I was gone for about three weeks. What a mess. Traveling is not all its cracked up to be my friends. It can be fun on occasions but, it does grow old rather quickly. I prefer to eat at home, not out at restaurants everyday. I am also hating the wasting of the money it takes to buy a meal that I cannot finish in its entirety. If possible I do try to get a to go box so I can not waste that food. Things like pizza or fajitas can be taken in the next day and be the envy of everyone else as I don’t have to buy lunch. Usually breakfast is free at the hotels leaving you with that amount of the funds left. If you eat correctly and cheaply on certain things then you can actually make a few dollars from the funds allowed for meals. No matter what, it still wears on the body and soul to be out and about all the time like that. I am even losing friends because the traveling makes them think I am avoiding them. Maybe they are not secure in the friendship or themselves to allow those thoughts to hit them like they do. So back on track here, Friday was a night of my homemade spaghetti. Let me tell you, it was so good that I had to heaping plates of it. I regretted the amount that I ate. I had a little of it form an early lunch yesterday. I was hoping to have at least spent some time with my bestie. That didn’t happen. So I went out to eat on my own. Having Mexican from one of my favorite places. The food was good as always. They were off their game yesterday. It took forever to get seated, then it took forever to get my order taken. The food came out finally and was not as hot as it normally was. The rice was cold, and the beans were lukewarm. The main portion of the meal was hot though. Which is awfully weird for them.

Touching on a statement from earlier. I am just as happy with only myself as I am with my friends. I have hobbies and things to do to keep myself entertained and busy. It also allows me to grow my knowledge of items and keep my mind moving and healthy. I do not allow myself to be idle for to long. I have to work on learning something. I have always done that my whole life. I am versed in a great many things. SOme I truly enjoy on an everyday basis, others are passing fancies. But I will not beg or plead with anyone to be my friend or my companion in a relationship of any kind. I do understand that any friendship or relationship will require a certain amount of work. That is life and yet, if they cannot understand that one has to make a living to pay bills, leaving the insecurity of the relationship thwarted. If the relationship is not strong enough to endure the facts of life then I don’t actually think it is worth the effort. I do love my friends don’t get me wrong. But my friends are usually a strong relationship and not broken easily. I do have only a few friends for that reason. I do have a lot of acquaintances. Most I do not trust farther than I can spit. So I just take care of me and my few friends. I think I learned some bad habits in the past causing me to have so few friends and so poor at talking about myself. I never had to.

Well folks, I need to get busy on the clothes that need to be put away and the packing. I need more rest since I have not been sleeping good the last few nights. I do need to attempt to get more air time on the radio. The propagation has been a little horrible the last few days while I have been home. Making an omelet for breakfast and then get busy. At least the clothing is washed and dried. Hope you all have a great day!!

Love Candi

11 October Journal

Good Morning Everyone, It is a wet and cloudy Sunday in central Mississippi. I am back here working until Wednesday. I am still wondering if I will be getting back on the payroll permanently or not. I am still scared and worried where I will be in a few weeks or by Christmas. With no steady paycheck, multiple turn downs in applications to jobs, I really am worried about the future I have in whole. SO yes I am in a tisy mentally, and spiritually. I been working with myself on the good things that I have rather than the uncertainty of the future I am stewing on. I a thankful for the work I am getting through the company I have been with for 7.5 years now. Finding another job at my age and female has proven really hard. Especially now with the pandemic and lots of people out of work. This has been a terrible year for everyone. Saving money has been even worse for some of us that were barely able to save anything. I have to tell myself these things to realize that I can find a way to get through this. I have made it through other things and I know I can make it through this. I just have to keep my head up, my wits about me and make good decisions on what I need vs what I want. Hobbies are on a sideline as far as anything new for equipment or material needed. Until I am back on a full time pay schedule and at a place where there is more expendable cash.
In some ways I am glad about this whole year. It has led to more and more self realization and learning new things to do, getting back into my old hobbies that one of which I was about to sell off all the stuff I had for that. That hobbie has become my sanity, my fun time and relaxation. Sewing too has become a staple of things to do that I can use left over material or older clothing or whatever to make something new. So I am not bored. I have my cooking, yeah well, no ability to buy some of the foods I normally use. Some is not available at the moment. Being in a depressed state has not helped me come up with more things in the cooking experiment area. I am back to the beginning of this section of the post. I am glad and thankful that I am still having a home, food, health and currently working. I am not sleeping in my car yet and will fight not to do so. I am thankful that I am smart enough to think out far enough to make decisions based on needs rather than wants. There is one want/need that I do feel I wanna do. I do want to buy a house and have my own space with no rental worries. Currently that is hold also as I am thinking about where I want to buy a house. I am discussing this with my daughter and thinking about what is more important to where I am going to do that such a thing. I do know I need to be much closer to my daughter and grandkid. So I am giving a lot of thought as to how I am going to do all this. So back to the idea of socking as much cash into a savings as possible when I have the extra cash to do so. I have also the idea of where in my home state I want to be. Sadly there is nothing there to do as far as a job. It is way off the beaten path and I will need to do some research. Maybe a book that I am working on will become the way back. I know I need to do it while I have the energy and the body to do so. Until then I have to do what I need to do so I can do that.

This Hurricane that just made landfall here in the USA a day ago, has left a lot people in a bad way again. They arent even through cleaning up the mess from the last one 6 weeks earlier and now they got hit again. The rain and wind did come through central Mississippi yesterday. It was a bit chilly out yesterday and the misty rain was just a total nuisance. I am ready for it to get cold. Which I am sure it is cooler at home than it is here. I am glad to have missed out on tornadoes here where I am at. I just hope I still have a home to go back to when I get back on wednesday. You never know about the things mother nature can do. She is nice and mean all at the same time. One minute you can have sunny and wonderful skies and the next total chaos. She is not one to be messed with and should be spoke to often and respected with the utmost of respect to any woman you would be willing to be looked upon gracefully.

I am ready to get home. I am ready to see my house and frogs and radios and whatever else I have at home that is wonderful to me. I am also wanting to work and be able to get home on a nightly basis. I am just ready to rest after living in a hotel with no privacy and the noise that drives me absolutely nuts. But, I am having to work so I have that place to go to. So today I will be working my code to use on my radio. I will be working on bettering my copy skills and try to not put on make up when I need to get out to get something to eat. Probably just go through a drive through. Something simple and el cheapo LOL>

Well Folks, I do need to stop this post here. Yes I am working on myself in my work and hotel stay. Relearning what I need to learn again as life hands out a plate full of uncertainty. Relearning that all is not lost in this world of fear of the unseen virus that can hit you at anytime. Learning to be thankful for the little things that I do have in my life, as insignificant as that little thing may seem. Those little things are what makes us. I hope you all have a great day!!

Love Candi

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